and then he hit her with his car
by smallwoodlandplant
Summary: /AU/ Being deemed a good driver didn't mean he actually was one. Especially when he hit her with his car. And then threw her supposedly dead body in the back seat. /KibaSaku/
1. Then it hit her

_Wahh~ I haven't done anything for like !EVER! That also means updating very important things._

_And the chances of that happening in the near future?_

_About none~_

**::**

Sakura been hit with a lot of things since she was little.

Baseballs, soccer balls_, _football, milk cartons, jello cups, books, binders, shoes, ect.

This though was the first time she had been hit with a car.

School wasn't even in anymore, it was summer break. So while everyone else was probably at the beach or partying it up she was (happily of course!) reading bad romance novels while drinking hella too many slushies.

While crossing the street.

And then proceeded to get hit by a car.

Kiba was relatively a good driver.

He drove a bit to fast sometimes, shouted a lot, flipped the bird to more people than he probably needed too, but he had never got in an accident, so he was deemed '_safe_'.

At least until he hit Sakura.

And then it was- "Oh SHT! AH-!" _SCREEEECH_ "OH MY GOD WHAT JUST-!" And slammed on the brakes before throwing himself out of the car to find an unconscious pinkette lying completely still on the pavement. With red liquid spattered on and around her. Then he started muttering to himself, "Ohshitohshitohshit, I killed her!"

The good citizen thing to do was call 9-1-1 and check for a pulse.

Instead he hauled her body into the back seat of his car.

**::**


	2. Get rid of the body

_I don't know whether these are drabbles or chapters._

_Maybe, if drabbles and chapters had babies, this is what they would be? _

_lmfao  
><em>

**::**

When Sakura finally came to, she was aware of a few things.

One, her head hurt like hell.

Two, she was covered in sticky red slushie and felt the need to take a nice, warm shower.

Three, she was in a car. Or truck. Some type of vehicle.

Of course, it took her a matter of seconds to comprehend what was happening. And when she finally did, she began to scream; "AHHHH KIDAPPPP!"

Kiba, who had not been expecting it, slammed on the brakes as Sakura bolted up from the back seat. Her pink hair was in a mess as it stuck up everywhere, and Kiba looked liked he had just committed a murder.

He stared at her for a few moments, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, before exclaiming, "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?"

"..."

They were both caught in an awkward silence after her outburst. He was still pulled over on the side of the road, car humming slightly. She was still half laying, half sitting in back seat covered in red slushie. Finally, trying to gain control of the situation, she questioned another very important and pressing question. "If you thought I was dead, why did you throw me in the back of your car.

Silence.

Then,

"Well my sister told me if I ever killed anyone she'd help me get rid of the body..."

**::**


	3. Hitchhiking teenage pregnacy

_Where's the romance, eh?_

_It's coming, but after being hit by a car Sakura isn't about to start mac'in on him..._

_Is she?_

**::**

They'd been sitting in the car for about half an hour. A few things had been cleared up. A few. Like, how she hadn't been believing and any moron with an IQ above 2 would have realized. Also the fact that if she had been dead, getting rid of of her body wouldn't have helped him. At all.

An issue that they had yet to clear up was how she was getting back.

Kiba was saying they were closer to his house, and sheepishly admitted he didn't know if he had enough gas to make it to Konoha... Actually, he wasn't even sure if they had enough gas to make it back to his house.

Deciding that it was not her day to start hitchhiking, she unhappily agreed.

They sat in an awkward silence as they approached a large piece of property, with more dogs than she had ever seen together in her whole life. Besides the fact that the car died halfway down the driveway, it went pretty nicely... (Sakura decided maybe that was the wrong word. Probably the correct thing to say was that they were not stranded in the road and dying.)

She thought maybe, for a split second that things were looking up a bit.

There was a pretty young woman playing with some of the dogs. "Is that your older sister?" Sakura asked Kiba as she went to open the door.

Kiba gave a bit of a cringe. "Be warned she's a bit-"

Before her could finish though, Sakura had swung open the car door and was smiling brightly at the girl. "Hello," she called.

As soon as Kiba had opened the door, his sister said, "Didn't I tell you not to get anyone pregnant!"

Sakura decided that maybe it was the day to start hitchhiking.

**::**


	4. Impending death

_GAHHH I AM SO ANGRY! This is what someone posted to my story, _Dreamland_! I know the the characters are a bit OOC, but stiil...! They didn't even have the balls to sign the review._

_"_Would have been nice to know that this was just another of the many garbage POS AU/high school fics that features OOCC and wastes the time of the reader. Is it written well? Somewhat. Is the plot rushed and obscure? Certainly. Are the characters believable? Not in the slightest_."_

_DAMMIT IT SAID **AU** IN THE SUMMARY! D:_**  
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**::**

Sakura decided that there was no doubt in her mind that that was Kiba's sister, and also someone who would offer to help get rid of a body. She wondered why her, of all people, had to get his by Kiba's car and then dragged to the smack dab in the middle of nowhere.

The smile that had been on her face quickly dropped as she stared blankly at the young woman. Kiba, who was blushing a bit, sputtered out something about 'that not being the reason' and 'don't be so blunt' and 'you're a bitch'.

Sakura decided that perhaps it was time to butt in and try and get the hell out of there as soon as she could. She also decided that there was no need to be nice with it. So, in her sweetest, informing-them-of-their-impending-death voice, she said, "You're dumbass of a younger brother hit me with a car, and proceeded in throwing my body in the backseat of his car. Then, being the idiot I have discovered he is, he drove me out here to get rid of my body only to find halfway through the drive when I awoke that I was in fact not dead. He did not have enough gas to return me back to Konoha, therefore he brought me here. All I want to do is get home, so hopefully he'll get some gas so he can take me back." Insert a fake sweet smile that made flowers wilt.

Kiba realized that he and his family had already made a terrible impression on her, and he knew the news he was about to deliver her would not help at all. He gave a nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I actually used up all the gas, uh, yesterday..."

Sakura's smile was beginning to drop and she was getting ready to smash in his skull.

"Then can I use your phone?"

Kiba's sister answered this one with a cheshire grin. "My dumbass brother broke it last week, we haven't gotten a new one."

Kiba did not miss Sakura cracking her knuckles as she formed them into fists.

**::**


	5. Twitching serial killer

_Gah! Sorry for no updates, I've been at my dads and he doesn't have internet TT_TT thank you to everyone who has supported me with this story! :D_

**::**

He had hit her with his car, his sister had assumed she was pregnant, and they didn't have a working phone.

Sakura decided then that if there was something such as karma, she must have done something terrible in a past life to deserve this. Especially when a large white dog proceeded to tackle her to the ground and lick her face until she couldn't feel it.'

She decided she must have been a serial killer.

"Ah! Akamaru!" Kiba shouted, fruitlessly trying to pull the dog off of Sakura to no avail. Finally, when the hundred pound plus dog decided he was content, he got off Sakura.

Hana was rather surprised that anyone's eye could twitch as much as Sakura's was. She felt like they were right out of an anime or something, the way her eye was twitching clearly showing her annoyance and wish to kill Kiba. Actually, Hana could care less if Kiba died. Bored with the situation, she headed inside to get a cup of coffee despite the heat outside.

Kiba wondered if he could out run Sakura. He guessed not when she looked into his eyes, and he felt like they were tearing his soul out.

Sakura didn't necessarily hate dogs, but she didn't like being licked on the face.

By anything.

So being pinned down my a dog that weighed as much as her as it proceeded to seemingly _rape _her face was not her favorite thing.

At all.

So it was then that she decided Kiba would fare much better with a giant hand print on his face.

**::**


	6. Two halves that don't work

_I started school. Woopee~ only in the 8th grade TT_TT. I have to take spanish this year (cause I dropped it last year) and I'm stuck in Algebra. I also have woodshop... I'm going to end up killing myself probably in that class..._

**::**

"Uh, do you like lemonade?"

Kiba was obviously not used to having a girl in his home, at least not when he hadn't prepared for it and after she had slapped him across the face. He was standing awkwardly in front of the fridge, his hand threaded through his thick, chocolatey colored hair and mouth slightly agape. Sakura acknowledged that he wasn't half bad looking, if you got passed his idiocy and the dirt all over his clothes.

Once you got passed that, them he was halfway-decent.

Sakura nodded briskly, snapping out of her thoughts. "Yeah."

"...Do you want some?"

"Uh yeah, but would you please put some ice in it?"

The word _please _was almost foreign to him, and he looked at her rather shocked for a few moments. Realizing that he was gaping, he nodded and proceeded with filling her a glass of lemonade with ice in it. If he thought about it, Sakura wasn't half bad for a girl. She was pretty, but definitely not the prettiest thing he had seen. And besides, e doubted the girl had very much experience under her belt, considering she had been _reading _in the middle of the summer.

He handed her the lemonade, which was beginning to fog up around the edges from the difference in temperature. "Here 'ya go," he mumured, and she took it gratefully mumbling a thank-you as she sipped on it. As he observed her, he couldn't help but think how cute he was.

Shaking the thought from his head, he went to fill his own glass of lemonade.

Obviously no one told either of them that two halves made a whole.

**::**


	7. Goodnight cross dresser

_Alright! I tried to make this chapter longer than the others, so here ya go!_

**::**

In summer, sometimes it seemed like the sun stayed up in the sky for ever. It seemed like as much as you wanted the day to bed over, it would just drag on forever. But for this day, the day that Sakura was having to spend with Kiba, the sun went down much to fast. And she was still not home, and there was still no way to get home.

"So... am I staying the night?"

Her question had been directed at Kiba, but Hana answered it instead. "I guess so. Kiba, clean your room up quickly and change the sheets so your bed is clean enough for her to sleep in."

"But-"

"You were the one who hit her with your car."

That silenced him, though he did grumble a bit as he trudged up a flight of stairs and disappeared from their sights. Sakura mumbled out a, "Thanks," and Hana merely shrugged her shoulders.

"It was either that or the ground."

Upstairs Kiba quickly shoved the mounds of crap on the ground into his closet. He peeled off the sheets which hadn't been changed in much to long, and threw them in the closet to. He shuffled out into the hallway to the hallway closet where he pulled a fresh set of linens. Shuffling back to his room, he slopping put the bottom and top sheets on. He fumbled when it came to putting fresh pillow cases onto his pillows, not able to fit the pillow in the case. After much trouble though, he finally managed to finish that task. He trudged back down stairs, where Sakura sat on his couch, gazing blankly out of the living room window.

"I uh, got the bed ready, and room..." He mumbled to her, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced from side to side.

"Ah! Thanks!" She casted him the first smile he had seen from her since he had hauled her body into the backseat of his car. Her lips were slightly chapped, but had an obvious bubblegum pink tint to them that he wondered was natural. He watched her glance down at her own clothes which were a pair of light blue jeans and a green t-shirt.

"I'm sure Hana has some extra pajamas, do you want me to ask her from some?"

Surprised that he realized, she stared at him blankly for a moment. "Oh...! Thank you..."

Awkwardly she crossed her legs as Kiba trotted up the stairs. He knocked on the door to his sisters room. She shouted a lazy, 'what is it', and he replied, "Hannah, I need some pajamas."

There was a pause, and then all the way down stairs where Sakura could hear, she shouted, "The day you have a pretty girl over you start cross dressing!"

**::**


	8. Routines of an abductee

_My math teacher is AMAZING! I adore him. If he wasn't kind of old and married, I would totally marry him! I love my ex (in a total friend way~) He's amazing and pretty funny!_

_Also, even though their first day of an adventure is coming to an end, doesn't mean it stops here! At least I don't think so..._

_There's a poll up on my profile about this story, so please vote in it!  
><em>

**::**

"Here... are your pajamas."

Awkward.

"Uh, thanks, but where am I gonna change?" She questioned, a perfect eyebrow raised. Her viridian eyes peered curiously at him, obviously waiting for an answer.

"You could, uh, change in my room, cause that's where you'll be sleeping."

Now to Sakura, sleeping in a guys room was already kind of weird. Especially cause they weren't even close friends, or a couple. In fact, they weren't even _friends_. And changing in his room- sure it was no different really than sleeping in it, but something about the idea felt kind of off to her. Of course everything about the situation she was in was off to her, everything seemed weird. She had thrived on routine for the majority of her life, and this definitely not what she had planned for her summer break.

And then, an odd though had occurred to her. Her mother was a very worry-wart of a person, and Sakura hadn't been able to contact her. Not to mention Sakura had never really not been home when planned. Occasionally an hour late or so, but by now it was dark.

If Sakura had even the faintest idea about her mother right, then the whole Konoha police force was thinking she was abducted and getting smuggled out of the country right about now.

At that very moment a wail of sirens passed outside the house, speeding down the road. "Kiba, what'd you think would happen if they were to stumble upon me with you?"

Kiba, still the oblivious moron he's always been, didn't get it quite first. "Huh?"

Sakura sighed in slight annoyance. "Considering who my mother is, and the fact that I have had no contact with her, I'm sure that right now everyone in town is think I've been kidnapped. And if, for any chance, they decided to stop here and find me, I have no doubt that the situation we would to get in would be anything but pleasant." It took him a second, but he realized exactly what she was saying.

"Wait, you don't mean-"

_Knock-Knock_

"Hello? Is anyone home?"

**::**


	9. Shoot the boy

_OHMYHOLFFUCKINGGAWD- Thought I was dead, huh? Long story short, I basically died for bit._

_Don't worry, I'm alive now (for the most part) omfg its been so long...!_

**::**

Kiba opened the door, revealing an officer clad in uniform. "Sorry for the lateness of the evening sir, but I was wondering if you knew anything about the whereabouts of Sakura Haruno." The officer's voice was deep and strong, making Kiba even more scared about the consequences.

"Well you see Officer, I have a funny story about that..."

By then Hana had trotted down the stairs, and Sakura could feel a lump forming in her throat.

"Eh? Sakura... Haruno? She's here right now, isn't she? You brought her back early her, didn't you Kiba." Though Sakura couldn't see him, she got the sense that the officer had just clenched his fists tight. Sakura, deciding as stupid as Kiba was, it probably wasn't the day to get him him shot. Stumbling to the door, she slid next to Kiba, making her face calm.

"Ah, good evening officer!" She smiled politely.

"Ah! Miss Haruno!" He stammered, seeming surprised. Straightening his jacket she watched as his hand crept to his holster where his piece was. "Excuse me, but I need to ask, what is your relation to this man?"

Saying he hit her with his car wouldn't be good. Saying that then, after that, he hauled what he thought was her dead body into the back of his car was even worse. She had a feeling that if she said that, things wouldn't go to well. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out; "Why, he's my boyfriend!"

**::**


	10. Get some

_****Again, after disappearing again for a while, I'm back~ lol, sorry for the shortness. I just really love that ending line and didn't want to change it -_-_

**:****:**

The Haruno family is a very important family. They didn't quite match up to the Uchihas, but in the end they were still important. Between Sakura's mother who happened to be the head physician of the local hospital along with the girls father who was head surgeon, not knowing who the Harunos were was something only a fool would do. And though Kiba was considered a fool in quite a few ways, that was not one. Especially when the girl's godmother was also the mayor of Konoha.

As the police officer gaped at the young Haruno prodigy, Sakura launched into a long rant that sounded much to intelligent to be some girl supposedly gushing about her '_boyfriend_'._  
><em>

The officer managed to cut her off, and mumbled something about taking a moment to call in his discovery. As soon as he had exited, Kiba grabbed Sakura by the shoulders and hissed; "What the hell do you mean I'm you're boyfriend!" A million thoughts were running through his head, and they mostly had to do with how this was dooming him from ever getting another date within this town. And then how his sex life would be none, and perhaps Naruto would end up getting more than him, and even at parties girls would avoid him, and then he'd end up having to watch-

"Well would you rather risk getting charged for abduction and thrown in prison!"

"At least I'd get some!"

**::**


	11. Officer of migraines

_Not disappearing again! At least not right away..._

**:****:**

Any officer of the law knows you can't force a minor who's done nothing wrong besides not call her parents into a vehicle with you. Even if her family is one of the mostly widely respected around, you just can't. It's simply against the law.

So the officer exchanged glances between Sakura and Kiba completely at a lost of what to do. She was merely a girl staying with her boyfriend- there was nothing beyond that. Just a flower in the spring of youth, living her life. Of course, he doubted her family would be to happy if he reported back saying he'd found her and just left her there. Sighing he hesitantly pulled out his phone, dialing the number of Mrs. Haruno.

"Hello?" A woman's voice bellowed through the phone.

The officer cleared his throat, trying to ease into baring the news of her daughter. "Well, Mrs. Haruno, I, uh, found your daughter..."

"And! Where is she!"

Another cough, and he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "Well, it appears your daughter was just, erm, with her boyfriend-"

There was a distinct sound on the other end of the line. The officer couldn't be entirely sure of what it was, but assumed it was something inside of the woman dying. A pause followed it, and he swayed from foot to foot, just hoping to try and make the situation as painless and easy as possible. Finally, after clearing her throat, Mrs. Haruno spoke again. "And what might be his address?"

"Er, well do you really think you need to-"

"Address. Now."

**::**


	12. Dealing with adults in underwear

**::**

Kiba had never actually really met a girl's parents. He had a couple times, but that was in about elementary school where the parents wanted to supervise because of choking hazards, not possible pregnancy's. Since then his majority of interacting with any girl's parents were hiding in her closet, rushing out of windows in boxers, and driving away really quickly from screaming ones.

He was definitely not prepared to deal with his fake's girlfriend mother who had already sent police out to search for her daughter.

Sakura on the other hand showed no signs of emotions. Or life really. Kiba assumed upon hearing that her mother was coming, the girl's vital organs had ceased up, and she had just gone into rigor while standing up. He vaguely considered walking closer to her and trying to push her over, but decided that if she was not dead he surely would be after trying.

Instead, he pondered what type of household chemicals they had lying about. They had rats a couple months back, and he was pretty sure there was still a fair amount of poison left over. But was it enough to kill himself before Mrs. Haruno showed up?

As that thought finished, the distinct sound of a correctly, well maintained and expensive luxury car could be heard pulling up. Under its clean nice tires he could hear his soul (and most likely later his body) getting pulverized into a million pieces by Mrs. Haruno.

If only he knew where the rat poison was.

**::**


End file.
